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Gary and the Honey Badger

By Guest
October 17th, 2012 - 10:27 AM
Gary Ryan is a guest blogger. The views and opinions expressed in this blog post are solely those of the original author. These views and opinions do not necessarily represent those of U-Pack, the blog.upack.com staff, and/or any/all contributors to this site.

Chapter One
Last March I had had all that I could take from the northwet winters. I have lived in the Seattle area since 1977 and the winter of 2011/2012 was the wettest, coldest, rainiest, darkest and snowiest I had ever experienced. So I vowed that I had enjoyed my last northwet winter.

So I jumped on one of those big flying things and headed for Arizona. After two days with a realtor in the Phoenix area I drove southeast to the Florence area. Two more days looking at houses with Robin the Super Realtor and there were a few possibilities but nothing I couldn't resist. Then Robin suggested we pull into a new development called Merrill Ranch. The second model home I walked into was my home to a tee. I got to choose all the things I wanted in it and it would be brand new and all mine when I moved in.

The house is supposed to be finished about mid-November. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Gary Ryan. I wasted my life away doing the morning show on Seattle radio for over 35 years. I was fortunate enough to have a broadcast partner who is still my best friend. His name is Bob Ryan. We were known as Ryan & Ryan and we basically cracked wise each day and proved that with hard work, the insane commitment of arising at 3 AM each morning and a little luck, you can live happily ever after.

Then in early April a friend said she had the perfect gal for me. I was not interested and was living happily ever after with my three dogs in the quaint little town of Port Orchard across the Puget Sound from Seattle. That same friend had been telling this perfect gal that she had the perfect guy for her. She was not interested and was living happily ever after a bit to the east of Seattle. Long story short; we swapped emails for a while and agreed to meet for dinner at a little restaurant on the beach in the Seattle suburb of Alki. Over pizza and a couple of glasses of wine we enjoyed the evening. I walked her to her car and said goodnight. Walking back to the restaurant I looked at my watch and realized we had spent nearly three hours together laughing and talking. I thought it was closer to an hour but it was closer to three.

While walking her to her car we decided to have some fun with our mutual friend (Diane) who had insisted we meet. So I sent an email saying I had never met a more stuck-up, boring girl in my life. The Honey Badger sent something to the tune of, "He showed up late, was rude and didn't even pick up the check." All untrue.

After a couple of days of that cruelty we confessed to Diane that we had pranked her. She took it in laughing stride and was very happy that we indeed did have a very nice evening. She said she had never been that totally pranked in her entire life.

The Badger and I are huge animal lovers. She has two dogs, two cats, chickens, and fosters moms and puppies for the Humane Society on a regular basis. It became obvious to me very quickly that her heart was as beautiful as her face. A face atop a 5'1", 98 pound frame and a gym rat and hiking nut to boot. It took me about 2 seconds to decide that I needed to get back to my fighting weight. To date I have lost 44 pounds, muscled up and taken 8 inches off my waistline. She is so stunningly beautiful and shapely that the motivation was instant.

Now over five months down the road and I am completely enamored with her and she likes me a bit too. We will leave it there until the next installment of Gary and the Honey Badger.

What comes next is complicated and confusing along with difficult and I don't know how the story ends. Thank heaven for the professionals at U-Pack. This morning my trailer arrived for me to load at my convenience and then U-Pack will move it to my new home in AZ. U-Pack is such a simple and beautiful idea in moving that I am surprised that it took so long for someone to put the whole idea into business.

The U-Pack people email all the moving ideas and suggestions and assist you all along the way and it could not be easier or simpler than the way I am doing it, with the help of the courteous and attentive folks at U-Pack. The toughest thing is now resolving the Honey Badger dilemma. I simply can't imagine living without her but she has a life and family in the Seattle area. Stay tuned and we will both find out how the story ends.